The Chronic-Ills Blog

I have met many people in passing throughout my life, countless fleeting encounters and conversations with individuals who, I’m sure, were lovely in their own right. Yet, if you were to ask me to recall those moments, I simply couldn’t. They blurred into the background, as so many do.

However for some reason, when life, fate, or whatever you want to call it, crossed our paths again, I remembered. I remembered our conversation in vivid detail, right down to the Bowling for Soup T-shirt you were wearing. And after just a few more moments with you that second time, I knew. I knew there was a reason that particular encounter had stayed with me, imprinted on my memory while so many others faded away.

We bonded over music, over shared moments from 20 Years ago, both unknowingly existing in the same spaces at the same time. But it was never just that. Life has given me many encounters, many chances, but none like this.

So now, as I lie here, 13 days after our engagement, wracked with insomnia and the unrelenting pain of my chronic illness, I still feel at peace. You are asleep, yet I am still with you. That alone brings me comfort.

I know life hasn’t been easy, especially lately, with my health struggles. There have been times I’ve felt like a burden, times when the weight of adulthood and its endless demands have consumed us. And yet, through it all, I still seek solace in you. For the longest time, life kept giving us coincidences, missed moments, chance meetings. But now, we have this. This beautiful life, this beautiful family, and a love so pure, one that I have never felt before.

No matter how hard things get, no matter how uncertain my condition may be, you have been and always will be my peace.

You have sacrificed so much just to be with me, and sometimes, I truly don’t understand why?, why you chose me, why you chose this life, over the infinite possibilities you had. But WOW, am I grateful Even as tears stream down my face at 5.30am from the pain this illness brings me, I still tell myself that I am lucky. Because I am. I am so incredibly lucky to have you.

” If you could take all the words in the language, it still wouldn’t describe how much I love you. And if you could gather all those words together, it still wouldn’t describe what I feel for you. What I feel for you is everything i love you more than” – Beautiful boy

For Darren- My light when all I have seen is darkness. My strength when all I feel I weakness, my peace when all I have known is chaos. My everything.